One last chance....Squeamish look away
Gross
I believe that there is no subject that should be blocked to discussion. The sharing of ideas and experiences are critical for growing and enriching our lives. The more we find out, the better off we will be. The knowledge that one of us has may help someone else. The stories shared by someone may help you someday in the course of your life. You may think back and say, "I remember Jeremy telling me about his situation and mine seems very similar. Good thing I read his blog!" LOL ah yes...good times indeed.
Well, it is moving time. Lots to do and no time left. One day to get it all done. That is why my situation couldn't have come at a worse time. I have recently discovered that I am getting old. Last week I found an ear hair that was actually getting long. So sad. I pulled that sucker out so quick I almost poked out my eyeball. "I'm too young for this!" I thought as I tried to shake the renegade ear hair off my finger. So you could imagine my dismay when I started feeling a bit of "discomfort" in the seat of my pants. Well, here is the gross part...You will say to yourself "TMI!" if you continue to read. So I am wiping my booty crack and discover a small bulge that is very painful to the touch. I think to myself, "Is that my intestines coming out?! Did I lift something to heavy?! Why?!" It is really crappy (No pun intended) because my medical insurance ran out yesterday. Figures. So I go online to find out what this could possibly be. One big fat word describes my symptoms...Hemorrhoids. Yeah. I really AM old. I feel I am starting the downward spiral that is old age. This could not come at a worse time. In two days I will be sitting in a truck for 12 hours..bouncing and bumping around. *sniff* So So Sad.
The whole point to telling this story and completely embarrassing myself was to amuse you all, maybe get some sympathy, and above all, some advice. What is the best way to deal with it?! I can't be alone in this. Some of you HAD to have had this issue before. Don't be lying now. I KNOW you have.
Well, that's all for now. Sorry for having to open up LOL for all of you. I hope someone at least got a laugh out of this. I know I did. That is was I get for making fun of all the people who had them when I was younger. I guess my hair is the next thing to go!
Jeremy OUT!
I can love more fully
12 years ago
7 comments:
Wow. That really is TMI. And I hate you for making me use an acronym.
All I've ever heard is heat. Apply heat...heating pad maybe. You should as Dad, the oh wise one.
You're making me feel uncomfortable.
Most women who have been pregnant have had to deal with them at one point or another. Having had 2 kids--I'm one of the lucky ones.
There are witch hazel pads, (Tucks is the brand name--but the generic brands work just as well), that are used to soothe them. And, although I haven't ever tried it, Preparation H should help to shrink them.
Probably the best help to alleviate hemorrhoids is to eat more fiber and drink a lot of water so you won't have to strain when you go to the bathroom. If getting 25-35 grams of fiber each day isn't likely, just get a bottle of fiber pills--they should do the trick.
Yeah--getting old sucks.
Bonnie, I like you.
Why oh why am I answering this?! Lol... But Amanda is right, same advice I would give. Good luck... and I am sorry!!!
if hemorrhoids are a sign of getting older...ahhh!
but, yeah amanda is right....as far as the tucks pads...i didn't have those on hand but i had witch hazel and cotton balls...it worked crazy wonders! also stiz baths (those who have had vaginal deliveries are very familiar with them!) can be quite soothing and sped the recovery process.
gooood luck!
Thanks All!
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